Five Pillars

Five Pillars of The Holy Church of Cornelius Spud

1) One must be Spudtized

2) One must grow the Holy Tuber

3) One must give Alms to the poor and needy. These alms may be carrots or other root vegetables.

4) One must not use the most profane of weapons, the potato gun

5) One must, at least once in their life travel to the sacred fields of Idaho.