when i am potatoless i put my spud in you.
Psalm 56:3
Bonus Psalm
He who dwells in the shelter of the Potato, will rest in the shadow of Cornelius.
Psalm 91:1
Monday, November 30, 2015
Sunday, November 29, 2015
Week 3 recipe
Thy Holy Toasty Yams
Ingredients
53 yaks (not based on their shelf life)
5 buckets of potatoes worth of honey
1 yakbladderful of salt
1 yakbladderful of pepper
Directions
1) Place thine yams in skillet
2) pour thy honey on to thy yams
3) sprinkle thy salt and pepper onto thy yams
4) blacken
5) enjoy
Ingredients
53 yaks (not based on their shelf life)
5 buckets of potatoes worth of honey
1 yakbladderful of salt
1 yakbladderful of pepper
Directions
1) Place thine yams in skillet
2) pour thy honey on to thy yams
3) sprinkle thy salt and pepper onto thy yams
4) blacken
5) enjoy
Tuesday, November 24, 2015
Exclusive Channing Tater Interview
Exclusive Channing Tater Interview
Q: Welcome Channing Tater it's great having you today!
A: Well it's great to be had!
Q: So, you are an actor, a performer, and potato rights activists, how do you explain your achievements?
A: Well, its all basically a lot of luck, and of course my blessings to Cornelius that have given me my success.
Q: Interesting, that leads me right into my next question, we are a pretty ostracized minority out in the world,
what made you convert to the church of Cornelius Spud?
A: Not many people know this, in fact I am writing about this in my upcoming autobiography 'Creamy: The Life and Times of Channing Tater, by Channing Tater'. Before Cornelius came to me I tried multiple different religions. I tried Islam, Judaism, Buddhism, I was even a Nun for a number of years, but i felt that my spiritual experiences were still lacking something. Something loving and taterly.
Q: Wow that seems like a very life changing moment.
A: Yeah it really was, it was as if a part of my soul had been missing my whole life and Cornelius came upon me and filled me with his holy seed.
Q: So how long has the ALL-FATHER been with you?
A: Hmmmmmm... when i think about it, i think he came to me a month or so before I got the role for 21 Spud Street.
Q: Wow that has been quite some years, surely you know how our community loves your movies
A: Aah they flatter me, truly. i have had a lot of positive feedback from the community. i think they are all amazing, yeah man, they are so great.
Q: Would you say that being the only spuddy actor in Hollywood has helped or hindered your success?
A:its really disappointing but i would certainly say that i have been discriminated against in the industry. i just really wish that people saw that spuddy people are people too. after 21 Spud Street, i came out and it was not as successful as i think it should have been. it was not nearly as successful as my prior movies. it is just terrible how bigoted people can be against spuddies.
Q: what an inspiring speech! unfortunately we are out of time, do you have anything you want to end with?
A: of Course i would like to say
PRAISE CORNELIUS. PRAISE THE POTATO. PRAISE THE ALL-FATHER.
Week 2 Psalm
When i felt mt feet slipping you came with your potatoes and kept me steady.
Psalm 94:14
Psalm 94:14
Sunday, November 22, 2015
Week 2 recipe: Thy Holy French Fries
THY HOLY FRENCH FRIES
Ingredients
1 bucket of potatoes
1 yaks bladderful of salt
1 yaks bladderful of pig fat
Directions
1) cut thy potatoes length wise
2) place thy pigs fat into thy metal pan
3) salt thy holy tubers and fry them until blackened (the blacker the better)
Ingredients
1 bucket of potatoes
1 yaks bladderful of salt
1 yaks bladderful of pig fat
Directions
1) cut thy potatoes length wise
2) place thy pigs fat into thy metal pan
3) salt thy holy tubers and fry them until blackened (the blacker the better)
Friday, November 20, 2015
Story of the Farmer
sorry this Thursday post is late, i will make it up later this weekend with a bonus post.
Their once was a farmer who lived in the hajjic lands of Idaho. He lived with his family; a wife, two dogs and a child. He was of course a farmer of thy holy tuber.
Every day the farmer went out to his crop which Cornelius had blessed upon him. He toiled as he should to grow and to suckle the holy tuber into a big meaty spud. Many spuds had he, he had a barnfull of potatoes, about the volume of 843.2 buckets of potatoes, which gave him and his family sustenance in the winter months.
Cursed is he who does not give proper alms for his harvest and thus it was as the farmer watched his tater pile grow, his soul darkened with spudlust and give alms he did not. Thus it was that the farmer spiraled into madness and was crushed by potatoes by the wrath of cornelius spud. Blessed be his name
PRAISE CORNELIUS. PRAISE THE POTATO. PRAISE THE ALL-FATHER.
Their once was a farmer who lived in the hajjic lands of Idaho. He lived with his family; a wife, two dogs and a child. He was of course a farmer of thy holy tuber.
Every day the farmer went out to his crop which Cornelius had blessed upon him. He toiled as he should to grow and to suckle the holy tuber into a big meaty spud. Many spuds had he, he had a barnfull of potatoes, about the volume of 843.2 buckets of potatoes, which gave him and his family sustenance in the winter months.
Cursed is he who does not give proper alms for his harvest and thus it was as the farmer watched his tater pile grow, his soul darkened with spudlust and give alms he did not. Thus it was that the farmer spiraled into madness and was crushed by potatoes by the wrath of cornelius spud. Blessed be his name
PRAISE CORNELIUS. PRAISE THE POTATO. PRAISE THE ALL-FATHER.
Monday, November 16, 2015
Week 1 Psalm
Psalm 120:1
I took my potatoes to Cornelius; I cried out to him, and he ate my potatoes.
I took my potatoes to Cornelius; I cried out to him, and he ate my potatoes.
Sunday, November 15, 2015
Portrait of the ALL-FATHER
As his instrument the ALL-FATHER has given into me the power of art, to create a masterpiece that depicts his elegance in purest form may I present
Week 1 Recipe: Thy Holy Roast Tubers
Roast Potatoes
Ingredients
1) holy potatoes from the Hajjic lands of idaho
2) two yak bladderfuls (the only holy measurement of weight) of salt
3) two yak bladderfuls of garlic
4) two yak bladderfuls of olive oil
Directions
1) dice thine holy tubers into a pan
2) sprinkle thine bladderfuls of seasonings onto thine potatoes
3) watch the flesh of thine holy tubers burn
4) when they are blackened, turn off the heat
5) serve thine holy tubers.
Ingredients
1) holy potatoes from the Hajjic lands of idaho
2) two yak bladderfuls (the only holy measurement of weight) of salt
3) two yak bladderfuls of garlic
4) two yak bladderfuls of olive oil
Directions
1) dice thine holy tubers into a pan
2) sprinkle thine bladderfuls of seasonings onto thine potatoes
3) watch the flesh of thine holy tubers burn
4) when they are blackened, turn off the heat
5) serve thine holy tubers.
Friday, November 13, 2015
Five Pillars
Five Pillars of The Holy Church of Cornelius Spud
1) One must be Spudtized
2) One must grow the Holy Tuber
3) One must give Alms to the poor and needy. These alms may be carrots or other root vegetables.
4) One must not use the most profane of weapons, the potato gun
5) One must, at least once in their life travel to the sacred fields of Idaho.
1) One must be Spudtized
2) One must grow the Holy Tuber
3) One must give Alms to the poor and needy. These alms may be carrots or other root vegetables.
4) One must not use the most profane of weapons, the potato gun
5) One must, at least once in their life travel to the sacred fields of Idaho.
Format of the Holy Centrifuge
Format for this Holy Centrifuge
Monday: Psalm Day
Thursday: Story Day
Sunday: Holy Recipe Day
At the will of the Great Spud their may be posts on any day.
PRAISE CORNELIUS. PRAISE THE POTATO. PRAISE THE ALL-FATHER.
As of December eleventh in the year of our lord Cornelius their is no longer a specific format
At the will of the Great Spud their may be posts on any day.
PRAISE CORNELIUS. PRAISE THE POTATO. PRAISE THE ALL-FATHER.
As of December eleventh in the year of our lord Cornelius their is no longer a specific format
Spudtism
Spudtism
Ritual for the induction into the Church of Cornelius Spud
If you wish to bask in the glory of Cornelius the All-Father, then you must complete these simple steps
1) walk to the right in a circle three times. the first time say Praise Cornelius, the second time say Praise the Potato, the third time say Praise the All-Father
2) Have a Priest of The Cornelius religion sprinkle holy water upon your forehead
3) Murmur the Spuds Prayer to yourself in a corner
Our Cornelius who art in the Spudlands;
hallowed be thy name;
thy Spud kingdom come;
thy will be done;
Potatoes shall be on earth as they are in the Spudlands.
Congratulations you are now a Spudtized member of the Church of Cornelius Spud
Welcome
Welcome pilgrim to the holiest of texts. This is the centrifuge of the church of Cornelius Spud. you must have come to this page for the purpose of indoctrination to this holiest of places. We believe that Cornelius Spud, the All-Father watches over all of us, his children. We have comfort in that fact. Please come, join us, all are welcome to his glorious light. May Cornelius give you a thousand successful harvests. PRAISE CORNELIUS!!!!! PRAISE THE POTATO!!!!!!! PRAISE THE ALL-FATHER!!!!!!!!!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)