Ingredients
1) Potatoes
Steps
1) Mince thine potatoes
2) Fry until black
3) Enjoy!
Thursday, January 7, 2016
The Conductor
The Potato Express is a Potato Train that goes from the Hajjic lands of Idaho to the Genesidic lands of Peru. It is made of Potatoes, and Brings pilgrims back and forth from the two Holy Lands. One Conductor who did not believe in the All-Father and his faith, but was still a good, hard-working man worked his way up through the Conducting pecking order to become the official Conductor of the Potato Express. He was the greatest Conductor that the Potato Express ever had. He accidentally stuck a fork in a live socket and died because of this great conducting skill.
Upcoming Potato Festival (Portatofest)
their is an upcoming potato fest in your area! you should totally go, we will have priests, priestesses, potato farmers, accountants, conductors etc who will all be sharing their love for potatoes, cornelius and the All-Father.
Remember to bring an empty stomach for you shall have all kinds of potatoes burnt to a crisp..... mmmm crispy
PRAISE CORNELIUS. PRAISE THE POTATO. PRAISE THE ALL-FATHER.
Remember to bring an empty stomach for you shall have all kinds of potatoes burnt to a crisp..... mmmm crispy
PRAISE CORNELIUS. PRAISE THE POTATO. PRAISE THE ALL-FATHER.
Monday, December 21, 2015
Genesis pt 2
A baby was born in a manger in the town of Bethlehem in Palestine that was bombed out by the illegal Zionist occupation.
in fact a massive wall that stretched for miles in both directions could be seen from the manger
that night Golda Meir heard that a special baby was born that could stop Israels occupation, and bring back the Spudist religion
Golda Meir sent out a task force of special ops Israeli soldiers to kill the baby, and its parents
they knocked on every door of every house, every business, every house of worship to look for the baby and its parents
after hours of searching they could not find the baby
in defeat Golda gave up
many years pass and the baby, who was named Cornelius became a boy, then a man; that was when the All-Father came to him
Cornelius was the first true believer of the All-Father in thousands of years
his duty was to bring Spudism back to the world, this he did
with his powerful voice and message he spread the word of the tater to all who would listen,
thousands would come from all over the world to here him speak the powerful words of the All-Father
however his words of the power of love and potatoes maddened the illegal occupiers and thus they came to him and took him to a detention center,
Cornelius was tortured and beaten by the Israeli soldiers,
after a day of being tortured Cornelius was released,
he could never be stopped and thus he returned to preaching the word of the All-Father
an Israeli soldier who was a hundred yards away thought that Cornelius had a knife (that was really a pamphlet) shot and killed him.
as he lay dying Cornelius with the power of the all-father turned into a massive potato disappeared.
in fact a massive wall that stretched for miles in both directions could be seen from the manger
that night Golda Meir heard that a special baby was born that could stop Israels occupation, and bring back the Spudist religion
Golda Meir sent out a task force of special ops Israeli soldiers to kill the baby, and its parents
they knocked on every door of every house, every business, every house of worship to look for the baby and its parents
after hours of searching they could not find the baby
in defeat Golda gave up
many years pass and the baby, who was named Cornelius became a boy, then a man; that was when the All-Father came to him
Cornelius was the first true believer of the All-Father in thousands of years
his duty was to bring Spudism back to the world, this he did
with his powerful voice and message he spread the word of the tater to all who would listen,
thousands would come from all over the world to here him speak the powerful words of the All-Father
however his words of the power of love and potatoes maddened the illegal occupiers and thus they came to him and took him to a detention center,
Cornelius was tortured and beaten by the Israeli soldiers,
after a day of being tortured Cornelius was released,
he could never be stopped and thus he returned to preaching the word of the All-Father
an Israeli soldier who was a hundred yards away thought that Cornelius had a knife (that was really a pamphlet) shot and killed him.
as he lay dying Cornelius with the power of the all-father turned into a massive potato disappeared.
Tuesday, December 15, 2015
More Psalms
Cast your spud on Cornelius, and he will sustain you; he will never permit potatoes to be stolen
Psalm 55:22
As soon as I pray, you answer me; you encourage me by giving me potatoes
Psalm 138:3
Unto thee I lift up mine potatoes, O thou that dwellest in their Spudlands
Psalm 123:3
My spuds O'Cornelius are creamy; I shall cook and grow potatoes with all my soul
Psalm 108:1
Psalm 55:22
As soon as I pray, you answer me; you encourage me by giving me potatoes
Psalm 138:3
Unto thee I lift up mine potatoes, O thou that dwellest in their Spudlands
Psalm 123:3
My spuds O'Cornelius are creamy; I shall cook and grow potatoes with all my soul
Psalm 108:1
The Celery Farmer
Celery is a profane fruit, and those who grow it are the scourge of humanity.
Once a long time ago after the desertion of man from the All-Father their was a man who grew celery. Celery was not seen as a negative force in the world because without the guidance of the All-Father man was ignorant of the harms of celery and ate it in large numbers.
For this reason celery farmers existed, and passed their foul trade down from father to son. One of such farmers was named Harry. Harry grew much celery. He was one of the main contributors of evil to the world. The celery he grew were long and had large shafts. They were shaftastic.
The All-Father destroyed him and his profane fruits.
Once a long time ago after the desertion of man from the All-Father their was a man who grew celery. Celery was not seen as a negative force in the world because without the guidance of the All-Father man was ignorant of the harms of celery and ate it in large numbers.
For this reason celery farmers existed, and passed their foul trade down from father to son. One of such farmers was named Harry. Harry grew much celery. He was one of the main contributors of evil to the world. The celery he grew were long and had large shafts. They were shaftastic.
The All-Father destroyed him and his profane fruits.
Monday, December 14, 2015
Genesis pt 1
In the beggining their was nothing but chaos, but from this chaos came the All-Father and with him his seed;
On the first day the All-Father spread his seed everywhere, and it coagulated to create matter;
On the second day the All-Father shaped the many stars in the sky from his coagulated potatoes, to light the universe;
On the third day he carved all of the animals of all the worlds from his holy seed; and thus man was made;
On the fourth day; man rejoiced in the All-Father and his holy seeds that nourished all;
On the fifth day the All-Father made the animals of the worlds minds so that they would have intelligent thought;
On the sixth day, man reaped their boon and gave their finest potatoes to the All-Father to replenish his seed;
On the seventh day man was stupid and forgot the glories of the All-Father. in their minds he was replaced, but the All-Father forgave them and still helped them. Man was lost from his course for many years;
But eventually a very special baby was born....................
On the first day the All-Father spread his seed everywhere, and it coagulated to create matter;
On the second day the All-Father shaped the many stars in the sky from his coagulated potatoes, to light the universe;
On the third day he carved all of the animals of all the worlds from his holy seed; and thus man was made;
On the fourth day; man rejoiced in the All-Father and his holy seeds that nourished all;
On the fifth day the All-Father made the animals of the worlds minds so that they would have intelligent thought;
On the sixth day, man reaped their boon and gave their finest potatoes to the All-Father to replenish his seed;
On the seventh day man was stupid and forgot the glories of the All-Father. in their minds he was replaced, but the All-Father forgave them and still helped them. Man was lost from his course for many years;
But eventually a very special baby was born....................
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