Genesis pt 2

A baby was born in a manger in the town of Bethlehem in Palestine that was bombed out by the illegal Zionist occupation.

in fact a massive wall that stretched for miles in both directions could be seen from the manger

that night Golda Meir heard that a special baby was born that could stop Israels occupation, and bring back the Spudist religion

Golda Meir sent out a task force of special ops Israeli soldiers to kill the baby, and its parents

they knocked on every door of every house, every business, every house of worship to look for the baby and its parents

after hours of searching they could not find the baby

in defeat Golda gave up

many years pass and the baby, who was named Cornelius became a boy, then a man; that was when the All-Father came to him

Cornelius was the first true believer of the All-Father in thousands of years

his duty was to bring Spudism back to the world, this he did

with his powerful voice and message he spread the word of the tater to all who would listen,

thousands would come from all over the world to here him speak the powerful words of the All-Father

however his words of the power of love and potatoes maddened the illegal occupiers and thus they came to him and took him to a detention center,

Cornelius was tortured and beaten by the Israeli soldiers,

after a day of being tortured Cornelius was released,

he could never be stopped and thus he returned to preaching the word of the All-Father

an Israeli soldier who was a hundred yards away thought that Cornelius had a knife (that was really a pamphlet) shot and killed him.

as he lay dying Cornelius with the power of the all-father turned into a massive potato disappeared.

More Psalms

Cast your spud on Cornelius, and he will sustain you; he will never permit potatoes to be stolen

Psalm 55:22

As soon as I pray, you answer me; you encourage me by giving me potatoes

Psalm 138:3

Unto thee I lift up mine potatoes, O thou that dwellest in their Spudlands

Psalm 123:3

My spuds O'Cornelius are creamy; I shall cook and grow potatoes with all my soul

Psalm 108:1

The Celery Farmer

Celery is a profane fruit, and those who grow it are the scourge of humanity.

Once a long time ago after the desertion of man from the All-Father their was a man who grew celery. Celery was not seen as a negative force in the world because without the guidance of the All-Father man was ignorant of the harms of celery and ate it in large numbers.
For this reason celery farmers existed, and passed their foul trade down from father to son. One of such farmers was named Harry. Harry grew much celery. He was one of the main contributors of evil to the world. The celery he grew were long and had large shafts. They were shaftastic.
The All-Father destroyed him and his profane fruits.

Genesis pt 1

In the beggining their was nothing but chaos, but from this chaos came the All-Father and with him his seed;

On the first day the All-Father spread his seed everywhere, and it coagulated to create matter;

On the second day the All-Father shaped the many stars in the sky from his coagulated potatoes, to light the universe;

On the third day he carved all of the animals of all the worlds from his holy seed; and thus man was made;

On  the fourth day; man rejoiced in the All-Father and his holy seeds that nourished all;

On the fifth day the All-Father made the animals of the worlds minds so that they would have intelligent thought;

On the sixth day, man reaped their boon and gave their finest potatoes to the All-Father to replenish his seed;

On the seventh day man was stupid and forgot the glories of the All-Father. in their minds he was replaced, but the All-Father forgave them and still helped them. Man was lost from his course for many years;

But eventually a very special baby was born....................

Zealot Mail!!!!

Spudtatations!

You all have my deepest apologies on not having a post for some time. My life has been very busy due to several potato conventions that I have attended as well as a yam festival. Who knew broccoli could actually taste good, when paired with yams anyway.

I have also been preparing evening mass for Spudmas which as usual is on the twenty fifth of December. If you do not know Spudmas is a holiday celebrating the birth of the baby Cornelius in a manger in Palestine.

I digress, I am writing this blog to show how awesome some of the truest followers of Cornelius are. People have really been loving these recipes so I thought that I would post a couple of the photos sent to me by adoring Zealots.

This first image is of one of the fantastic zealots of Cornelius spud eating thy holy tubers

Antonius Milkweed sent me a letter

Dear Papa Papa

Ever since I found Cornelius and he gave me much of his creamy seed my life has been changed. Every day on my table is his seed. every day that I wake his seed is in my mind. I love him and he loves me, that is why he gives me his seed. I am blessed to bask in his shadow, to live by his example so thank you Papa Papa, thank you dearly for this Centrifuge, this place where all of the All-Father's holiness lies.

Sincerely,

Antonius Milkweed

P.S.

I love you and sometimes when i wake up I feel his potatoes, his seed all around me in my bed.

Another fantastic Zealot sent me another photo of Thy Holy Roast Tubers that they made. This mans name is Publicus Pubicus

Hey P POPS!!!

Your centrifuge has greatly inspired me to live a better life and to eat more healthily with a tuber based diet. I love how fiery and ash-tasting your recipes are. They really help me lose weight in fact i believe that i have lost about 300 pounds since a week ago when Cornelius first came to me and showed me this Centrifuge.

Anyways i hope you enjoy this photo I sent you of the recipe i saw here. Thank you so much.

with much faith

P. Pubicus

P.S. Here is a  photo from before my tuber based diet days.

The Accountant

There once was an accountant who went clickety clackety clackety clack all day on his accountant machine. he was a true believer in our lord cornelius spud. he counted up a farmer's potatoes, the holy seed of cornelius that he gives to all of his true believers. the accountant had many a time and again received the holy seed of cornelius and he ate it all.

His life went along as an accountant and a believer when one day he was no longer able to do hiss accounting. he had forsaken the ALL-FATHER and no longer praised the holy potato.

His bucket was found and it was kicked and he never made it to the Spudlands.